“I don’t understand your hesitation. You say that you love me but you don’t want to go a step further in our relationship. What’s wrong? If you really loved me, you would climb that step.”

Popular culture makes us believe that Love conquers all. We have all been exposed, as children, to a story or two, where there is a Princess and her Prince Charming who are confident that with only the strength of their love they will live happily ever after. That belief takes roots in our heads and develops undesirable weeds. Naively, it’s tinting our decisions when choosing a partner. I then came to consider that Love is just not enough. Passion is fickle. And desire needs to be nourished. It takes Commitment; with a Big C.

Does that statement trigger an anxiety attack? All the Commitment Phobics, who are reading this, must be pale as a ghost now, maybe even have a shortness of breath.

According to the book “He’s scared, She’s scared” from Carter & Sokol, there are 5 components of commitment:

Good Intentions: It is an ongoing willingness to make the relationship work by putting the necessary effort and energy. There is no abuse or imbalance to be felt by either partner.

Monogamous: Being dedicated to one partner helps keep the attraction alive instead of contaminating it with anger, resentment or humiliation. Your relationship stands on a durable ground to flourish emotional satisfaction. You obtain easily forgiveness and support from your partner when you will need it.

According to John Gray (Mars & Venus), sexual energy is a sacred one. An observation has shown that there might be a correlation between monogamy and prosperity; in the 1950’s the CEO of the 500 Fortune companies were all in a monogamous relationship.

Being monogamous is similar to putting money at the bank for tough times.

Open Ended: It’s to have the sound confidence that you will make it work indefinitely. It’s all about feeling secure in the prospective of future then a feeling of horror.

Responsible: It means many things.

Not promising more then what you can deliver, like promising that you will live together or have children one day and never come to apply it.

Also, it is not holding back emotions that you can give like being generous and caring.

It is also remaining sensitive to your partner’s needs and feelings. Not to run like a bat out of hell just because you’re scared.

Realistic: See and accept your partner weaknesses and imperfections. Your partner has fault as you do. You have the opportunity to appreciate the qualities that offsets that. Don’t be blind as a bat. One partner cannot fulfill all of your needs. Commitment Phobics can go on with you by getting married, have kids and still not be committed; when the anxiety occurs it is taking over reason. Your partners withdraws, becomes silent, passive, mysterious, hides, or even worse, is unfaithful.

Committed relationships don’t build on a click of the fingers. It’s not simple to ultimately find one and it’s difficult to keep one. You need to have personal abilities (acquired or not) for commitment. It necessitates a good level of self-esteem. Those commitment qualities have to be present in both parties to lead to emotional fulfillment and satisfaction, and to remain Happy as a King. Wishing you great luck

The World Baseball Classic reveals something about the American character and global realities: when we don’t try, we don’t win.

The baseball series, closer to a “world” series than anything that has come before, except the Olympic Games, shows what can happen when Americans believe they’ll prevail just because of the colors on their jerseys, and the name on their caps.

We get our you-know-what’s kicked. Granted, there hasn’t been a blowout score recorded against us, but still, we’re not in the finals, which is something next to unimaginable for the country in which this sport was born.

So, why did we lose?

A lot of our ballplayers didn’t suit up for team USA. They were at spring training, getting ready for the regular season of Major League Baseball.

Many of these multi-millionaires didn’t want to injure themselves in contests that don’t “count,” that are invisible to the majority of domestic sports fans, and for which they are not being paid big bucks to play.

To them, it was running the kind of risk that you’d incur playing a game of pickup basketball, then breaking something, and having it end your season or career. Just ask Mr. Boone, formerly of the Yankees, whose ankle was his Achilles heel.

We lost because we didn’t try. I think that’s the real story.

We didn’t field our best team and they didn’t practice together at any length or with intensity, unlike Cuba, one of the better performing teams in the Classic.

But this loss is emblematic of what can and will happen to us in every area, especially in business, if we don’t give our all, if we fail to play our “A-game.”

It’s a lesson from our American Pastime that could very definitely inform our future.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of www.Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service, and the audio program, “The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable,” published by Nightingale-Conant. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, a Loyola lawyer, and an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School at Claremont Graduate University, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He holds the rank of Shodan, 1st Degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com

Shelly felt sick. As she sat at the table and watched all the people eating, talking, and having a good time, all she could think about was if anyone noticed how horrible and runny the stuffing was. Shelly’s mother in law had fallen off of a step-stool two weeks earlier and broken her wrist. This year, for the first time, Easter dinner, which was also celebrated as her father in laws birthday, was being done at Shelly’s house. At first it seemed like a great idea. When Allen, her husband, had suggested it as a great way to help his mother out, Shelly embraced the thought. However, as the day grew closer it became more and more overwhelming.

Shelly was frustrated that Allen hadn’t recognized how hard she’d worked to prepare in advance and had been short with him for days. She found herself trying to fit into her schedule a trip to the hair stylist so she would look good when the family from out of town arrived. She stayed up past midnight three nights in a row frantically cleaning and getting the two guest rooms in perfect order. Now that the event was upon her and everyone was having a wonderful time, and by all measures, Shelly was miserable. The stuffing was runny. Not to mention, Shelly was cranky and she had snapped at Allen in front of his mother earlier. It was humiliating. Shelly was positive it would live on in family history forever. Shelly didn’t think his mother had ever really liked her that much anyway. What a mess she had made of things…

The person we judge the most and judge most harshly is always ourselves. As women we are trained - it is ingrained in us to be critical of ourselves and as we learn to do it to ourselves first we also learn to direct it outward on the world around us. Nothing, and I mean nothing drains our personal energy the way judging ourselves does. However, this is the one habit of self sabotage that is so subtle, so soft, it’s like a whisper, but it is the mother of all of our failures. Judging self is the most fundamental crime we commit against humanity for if we cannot love ourselves we surely will never truly love another. That is a bold statement. However, it’s true and although we know in our hearts it’s true, we go on judging ourselves quite harshly everyday anyway.

Again, embracing the spirit of Aloha, to love is to be happy with and that applies to our relationship with self more then any other. If we can find a way as women to escape judging ourselves and just settle into being happy with who we are, we free up so much personal space inside our heads that we can finally begin to thrive. Wouldn’t it be great to thrive? I mean seriously. I know this sounds a little like mumbo, but really - what if you could just commit to loving yourself and you could then have enough extra personal energy to work on that novel you’ve wanted to write or train for a marathon? You may never know what you could achieve until you commit to loving yourself with abandon just to see what’s possible.

So, fast forward one full year. It’s Easter. Shelly’s mother in law has just decided that since the family descends on her home for all the other holidays, she doesn’t want to do Easter anymore. They enjoyed it so much last year, Allen’s family more or less invites themselves back to Shelly’s place. This year Shelly spends a few bucks, hires someone to come in for an afternoon to clean the house while she goes to the spa the before the family comes. For dinner instead of the regular Easter fare Shelly serves an amazing Italian dinner that her family would traditionally make for special occasions. Everybody raves about it. There is no stuffing in sight.

There is a photo that hangs in Shelly’s kitchen today of Allen’s dad’s 64th birthday cake all ablaze with sixty-four candles and all the family around it in her kitchen with Dad and Shelly blowing out the candles together. It’s a classic. I can’t help but smile every time I see it. She’s beaming.

Shelly figured out Aloha. Make it your year.

Lisa Hayes is a mind, body, soul, practitioner who views the person as a whole -
With meditation for the mind
Yoga for the body
and as an ordained minister, for the soul, Lisa works with women to help them achieve peace and bliss in the chaos of their every day lives.

Lisa is also a partner in an independent technology firm and is a single mother of a teenage boy, so she understands chaos. Chaos is a part of everyday life. It is a part of the contrast of life that makes the zen seem so much more precious.

Lisa began the pursuit of the healing arts more than fifteen years ago when she completed her degree in natural health and nutrition. She continued that path as a yoga and meditation instructor before becoming a life coach.

Lisa believes that zen is our basic nature. All we have to do is release it. She has dedicated herself to assisting women in finding whatever tools work best for them individually to become their most blissful and beautiful selves.

To contact Lisa email her at lisa@moderngirlsguidetozen.com.

Here are some everyday, helpful hints to get you started, keep you going, and help you stick to your diet.

1. Never leave home “starving.” Always have a light snack before eating dinner in a restaurant, such as a piece of fruit, a glass of juice or a carrot.

2. Don’t go food shopping on an empty stomach! You’ll be tempted to buy everything in sight.

3. Don’t be tempted by treats. Store them out of view, off counter-tops and as out-of-reach as possible.

4. Don’t eat in front of the TV. Watching the boob tube — instead of watching your plate — lulls you into overeating. Also avoid being tempted by food and snack commercials.

5. Make it a rule in your house to confine your meals to the dining room or kitchen table! Never eat standing up! This leads to mindless snacking.

6. Think before you drink. Alcohol adds lots of calories, but no nutrients. Also, it weakens your willpower to avoid the wrong food choices. Hangovers can cause wicked cravings for fatty or high carbohydrate foods that can sabotage any attempt at weight loss.

7. Fill up on soup first. Begin every meal with non-cream hot soup; it forces you to eat slowly and fills you up so you won’t overeat.

8. Take time to taste your food. Don’t gobble food down! Rushing through your meals doesn’t give your brain the time that it needs to signal your body that you are full.

9. When dining out, request sauces and low-calorie dressings on the side.

10. There is no law that requires you to finish everything on your plate.

11. Prepare a shopping list (with menu ideas in mind) and stick to the list. Avoid being tempted by bargains that grocery stores place on the outer aisles and at the back and the front of the store. The healthiest foods are usually in the long narrow aisles.

12. Use non-stick pans to reduce the need for cooking with fat.

13. If you must use oil, try a flavorful one like olive or sesame oil. Now remember, a little goes a long way! Make just a spritz of oil go even further by buying a Misto. A Misto is an aerosol can that you can fill with a good fat such as olive or canola oil.

14. A pinch of grated cheese or blue cheese will provide a flavorful kick without adding a lot of calories to a salad or grain dish.

15. If you cook in large quantities for your family, store leftovers in individual serving size containers. This is a way to practice portion control for yourself so you don’t eat too much at one sitting.

16. Nibbling off someone else’s plate may seem harmless — but those calories do add up!

17. Drink six to eight glasses of water a day. A beverage before mealtime will also help you feel full faster and longer. Water also helps your body digest food, which is especially important now that you’re eating a fiber rich diet.

18. Store really tempting treats in opaque containers or silver foil — and stick them in the back of the refrigerator. Out of sight out of mind!

19. Are you stuffing yourself? If you have to loosen your belt a few notches after meals you’re definitely eating too much!

20. Mashed bananas, prunes and apple sauce are great baking substitutes for fat, especially in bread, brownie and cake mixes.

What Sparked An Obsession With Body and Facial Hair? Find Out More About Unwanted Facial Hair And The Current Hair Removal Craze.

More and more women are obsessed with removing unwanted facial hair today. It is no surprise that the women in United Kingdom spend £280 million in the quest of hair removal for silky smooth legs, arms, face and more. But what sparks an obsession with body hair? It is probably because of an unkind remark at a vulnerable stage such as early adolescence that may have triggered a preoccupation with a particular feature such as removing unwanted facial hair. Some 30% of women and 12-15% of men are overly concerned with some aspect of their appearance, although an obsession with unwanted facial hair and body hair is fairly uncommon.

Although the current hair removal craze dates back to the 20th century, women and men have been removing body and facial hair throughout history. In fact, today’s fashionable techniques for removing unwanted facial hair - waxing, sugaring or threading - were used by Egyptian and Middle-Eastern women thousands of years ago. Other techniques of removing unwanted facial hair, such as shaving with razors, plucking with tweezers and using depilatory creams, date back just as far, if not further. Hair removal methods have stayed basically the same for centuries, but the body parts involved have changed.

Today’s trend for smooth legs and armpits started with one of the earlier editions of Harper’s Bazaar magazine. It featured a model wearing a sleeveless evening gown - with hairless armpits. The hair removal craze was also aided by the Wilkinson Sword Company who ran an ad campaign in the 1920s to persuade women that underarm hair was unhygienic and unfeminine.

As hemlines rose above the ankles, women in many Western countries started shaving their legs. During the Second World War, a shortage of silk stockings led to the leg hair removal trend.

Recently, there’s been the fascination with below-the-belt hair removal, with the ‘Brazilian Wax’ and the ‘Hollywood’ feted by a slew of celebrities. The history of hair removal is essentially about fashion. But when is unwanted facial hair and body hair a medical problem? Consult your doctor if you have a sudden increase in body or facial hair, or if your periods are infrequent or your voice has become deeper. The doctor may recommend you to lose weight. This reduces the amount of hormones in your body that cause increased hair growth.

If the problem is severe, the doctor may prescribe hormonally based drugs designed to help rebalance levels of androgens. Such drugs usually take three to six months to work. Although they can reduce the amount of new hair growth, it does not usually change the amount of existing unwanted facial hair. There is also a cream-based medication which can slow unwanted facial hair growth. It can start to work within four to eight weeks although it may take longer. Always refer to your doctor before using any form of medication.

Are you finding you have a lot to do, but never seem to have enough time?

1) First assess how you are spending your time. Here are a few common time eaters to watch out for: * Have a long list of things to do and focus on all the little thing so you can mark off more things in an hour. * You are straightening, cleaning or mirco-working. * You are spending hours on e-mail. * You can’t find things and spend a lot of time looking and discovering things you have not seen in a long time. * You spend social/idle time on the phone. * TV, newspaper, errands & shopping (things that don’t contribute to bottom line) * Maintenance items that absorb time * Internet, computer games, chat rooms, etc

2) Second, identify your weakness. Look at what is holding you back from doing the really important things on your list. Some common reasons our “BIG” projects are not accomplished are: * Lack of planning * Lack of time * Overwhelmed with project * Lack motivation * Distractions/Interruptions * Other priorities * Emergencies * Tired & frustrated * Lack of resources * Lack of clarity on vision * Excuses (life)

3) Create a routines and strategies for how you operate. * Simple and effective Daily Habits. * 10 min. daily pick-up time. * Keep a clean desk. * Check e-mail 3x a day; limit time to 30 min. for each checking. * Touch it once and put it in its place (file it, toss it, etc.) * Pick one big project you need to do each day and complete it before doing anything else * Keep a weekly plan of activates with the top 5 things you will do each day * Keep regular tools as your fingertips (healthy snacks, water, books, Palm, etc.) * Develop management systems - templates for things you do often. * Block one hour a day for quiet time to focus exclusively * Pick one news source & read as reward for task completed. * Have a system to organize contact, calendar and tasks (outlook is a great tool)

Bottom-line. When you have systems in place, are neat and organized you can get more done. Also when you do what is important first, it will free your energy to have the big project done and also give plenty of time for all the little things. When you assess, identify and strategize you will easily maximize your productivity!

Sports equipment has a considerable interest today due to how enormous an impact sports has on the world. People get sporting equipment of all types including sports apparel, squad clothing & sports gear. The fastest way to slim down where to find your sportswear equipment is to find out what you are specifically looking for.

The World Wide Web is the most handy place to search for the goods you need. You can find a large number of magnificent sporting stores online that retail anything & everything related to sports. Even though you do have to pay for delivery & wait for your manufactured goods to be dispatch to you, the choices you will have will be far greater than those in the real retail outlets.

So where do you even embark on looking you may well wonder. If you want sporting goods, there are more than a few nationwide sportswear stores that offer a selection of sports equipment. These retail stores are handy as you can find items for all sports at one place in addition to shoes sports clothes, outdoor clothes and cricket equipment.

The downside to acquiring sports supplies at a bricks and mortar retail outlet like these is that you might not procure the highest quality stuff on the market. Indeed you can procure quality kits, but just not always the top of the line. In order to acquire the top of the line sporting equipment you will need to go to a shop that exclusively sells what you are demanding If you demand football equipment, then visit a store that concentrates on football. If you require a precise baseball bat, going to a baseball specialist retail shop will allow you a better possibility of discovering it. Sports equipment shops offer superb offers on sporting merchandise.

A further type of sporting kit that brings in a great deal of returns is team sporting equipment. The best way to illustrate you passion for your preferred premiership football team or rugby team is to purchase their attire. Whether you desire a team’s socks or a favourite sportsperson’s jersey, there are several retail stores on the World Wide Web & high-street stores you can visit to get what you’re looking for. One of the most notable retail shops for sporting supplies on the Web is Sportswear-Equipment.com.

If you are accustomed to wearing nail polish, remove this first. If your remover is alcohol or acetone free, it may not be as effective on darker colors. Also, some people prefer to use gauze pads as opposed to cotton balls to avoid any fuzz leftover on the nails. But if your ball is wet enough and wiped well, this shouldn’t be a problem.

Next, cut your nails, using a proper toenail cutter and not a fingernail clipper. The toe clippers are made specifically for the nature and shape of foot nails. Cut straight across, leaving one-eighth to one-quarter of an inch, depending on the shape of your toe. Nails can then be filed down with the rough side of an emery board, the corners shaped, and the smooth side of the board used to buff the edges.

Use a bowl, or dishpan from the Dollar Store as a footbath. Soak your feet in warm water for 15 minutes. For a more relaxing session, add some aromatherapy oils or crystals to the water. The soaking will help soften skin that you will be working with next.

Use a cuticle softener around the edges of each nail, and then an orangewood stick to gently push back any skin extending over the nail. Go only to the edge of the nail and no further. If you have a piece of loose skin, there are cuticle clippers that will remove it. The ball and heels of your feet is where the toughest and roughest skin is. Use a scrub meant for removing dry skin, and put it on a pumice stone or foot scrubber. Rub firmly in order to get the softened dead skin off, but don’t go so far that you irritate the foot.

Now indulge yourself by moisturizing while you massage your feet. There are creams made specifically for foot skin, which will condition it better. Rub and massage it into all areas of the foot, especially the thicker skin portions, and then continue up the ankle to the lower calf. You might also like to use a drop of cuticle oil, massaged in to keep them soft and pliable.

Allow your feet to dry thoroughly before putting on any kind of footwear, or re-painting the nails with polish.

The Fall-Winter collections of 2005 were occupied with a revival
of Coco Chanel’s classical styles. This revival included a
plethora of Bloomsbury fabrics, tweeds, tartans, and equestrian
suits. The classical Chanel look includes simple jersey dresses,
box-jacket suits, knit suits, and pullovers with white piqué
collars and cuffs. To complement these styles, luxurious pearl
accessories were shown as the accent ‘de jour’.

Coco Chanel’s costume jewelry collections were intended to be
worn blatantly on tweeds and with feminine day time wear. Coco
Chanel originated plain styles worn with several rows of fake
pearls. Chanel started the fashion for gold and bead chains,
charm bracelets and jeweled belts, often combining junk jewelry
with real jewels on plain garments.

The classical Coco Chanel style found in this year’s Fall-Winter
collection is best complemented with simple and elegant beads.
Pearls and stain finish beads in solid colors will harmonize
with the classical look seen on the runways. Feminine sporty
beads can also be used to complete a Chanel look, especially if
tweed fabrics are in your wardrobe. When selecting beaded
jewelry look for classical colors such as black, white or cream.
Any beaded jewelry that has a chic, clean, and savvy appearance
would balance any classical outfit.

The current Medalye Designs collection offers various pieces
which are ideal for classical attire.
Forever Classic is an especially appropriate piece and was
inspired by the house of Coco Chanel. In this design, satin
finished oval black beads offer a clean line and a rich
luminescence for a simple yet dynamic pearl piece. For office
suits of Coco Channel caliber, the Forever Classic beaded
lanyard may be your best bet. For the sporty tweed look, matte
beads combined with luster beads can offer a sporty yet feminine
finish to an outfit.

Innocence is an excellent example of femininity combined
with practicality. If you wear an eyeglass chain or eyeglass
necklace but want to maintain a classical look, then the
Innocence design is an ideal choice. In this design the matte
finish of the beads have a sporty appeal, while the round shape
of the beads offer a feminine line. As well, the cream crystal
and cream luster beads in Innocence offer a final rich feminine
touch.

When your Mom was going through menopause pretty much all she had to counter the effects of aging skin was a jar of cold cream and a frosted mirror! Not so today. Over the past decade, and particularly in the last five years, anti-aging skin care has exploded, as the lines between medicine and cosmetology have been significantly blurred.

At the same time, even one trip down the beauty aisle of your favorite pharmarcy or department store can leave in you some kind of Vogue-induced catatonic state - you simply don’t know what to buy!

The good news is, while products abound, you can boil your choices down to a few key ingredients which studies show can make a major difference in the way your skin looks and feels - sometimes as quickly as two weeks!

To help get you started here’s a look at five of the top age-defying ingredients. So, check your product labels - and get ready to look too fabulous for words!

The Top 5 Age-Defying Ingredients

1. Retinol/ Retinyl Palmitate/Vitamin A Not ‘fresh picked brand new’, but never the less hot as a pistol is retinol, inarguably the most clinically researched anti-aging ingredient available today. It’s most outstanding feature: It penetrates deep into all three layers of skin to stimulate collagen - the substance which keeps skin youthful. Use it daily and see outstanding results in a month or less. Products to try: Serious Skin Care A-Force Vitamin A Serum with Retinol; DDF Energizing Retinol Serum

2 Peptides These tiny little molicules - the building blocks of protein - are hot, hot, hot when it comes to turning back the hands of time. While a number of different companies feature peptide formulations, among the most popular is “Palmitoyl pentapeptide-3 - one of the most exciting anti-aging technology. The reason: Experts say it can do what no other compound could before - Instruct the body to make more collagen wherever the cream is applied! Try it and see plumper, firmer skin in two weeks. Products to try: Olay Regenerist Serum, Regenerist Night Cream, Regenerist Eye cream; DDF Cellular Revitalization Age Renewal Cream;

3. Green Tea The secret lies in a compound known as epigallocathechin or EGCG - which has been shown to be 100 times more powerful than Vitamin C and 25 times more powerful than Vitamin E in finding and destroying free radicals. These are the nasty compounds that occur during sun exposure and gobble up collagen and elastin. On the skin’s surface, green tea may stop the aging process by holding a reserve of protective antioxidants in cells, and protect against UV damage of the sun. Products to try: Replenix CF Serum, Replenix CF Cream, Paula Dorf Primrose and Green Tea Night Cream.

4. Argireline You may not know the chemical name, but there’s no doubt you’ve heard the buzz about argireline (pronounced ar-ju-LEAN), another peptide complex touted as the Anti-Botox. It’s also a way to get some wrinkle-reducing results without injections. While it won’t be as dramatic as Botox, it works in a similar way - gradually relaxing the muscles underneath the wrinkle, so lines seem to disappear. Clinical trials show a 30% reduction in wrinkles in 30 days! And the longer you use it, the better the results! Products to try: Principal Secret’s Reclaim Line by Victoria Principal; Adrien Arpel’s Signature Club A Non Toxic Silicone Plus Night Formula; DDF Wrinkle Relax (highest concentration).

5.Vitamin C It may sound old fashioned but the results are decidedly new age - and very anti-aging. The reason: Vitamin C helps rebuild collagen in the skin - and that means a plumper, less wrinkly complexion. The key lies in two factors. First, only the L-Asorbic Acid form of vitamin C was shown in clinical trials to penetrate deep enough into the skin to enact change. Second- because vitamin C degrades quickly once it hits the air, so look for products in sealed bottles (with an air-tight pump) or better still, individual single use topical capsules. See results in about 30 days - optimum in about 90 days. Products to try: Adrien Arpel’s Signature Club A Vitamin C Capsules from Home Shopping Network; Avon’s Anew Vitamin C Serum.

To learn more about the anti aging ingredients that really work visit http://www.YourMenopause.com or http://www.HotFlashMall.com